LFW . . .Oh The Things I’ve Heard (SS17)

Now I know you’ve all enjoyed previous “Oh The Things I’ve Heard” from fashion week, you can read them all here, those moments of hilarity, ego and oddness that are all part of the fun, well I thought I’d bring you the best of this season . . .

In The Street

“Would you like to try our energy drink”? – “No I tried it yesterday and still haven’t forgiven you”.

“Anyone seen the popcorn bikes, I’m not paying Pret for something being given away”?

One photographer to another, “Thats the third time shes passed by” – his friend, “Yeah and the speed she’s doing the rest of the circuit she should of been in Rio”.

Reporter doing an interview, “Who are you wearing”? Security guy stood by them, “I’ve come in Screwfix & Clarks”.

Cameraman – “The trouble with Vetements is I can’t tell who’s wearing it, or if they are working on the site”.

The Egos’s

“I decide where I sit” – Girl who went to the front row and was swiftly moved on.

“I can’t believe I’m made to sit behind a tangerine from Towie, I’m actually important”.

“Call the lift for me, I don’t do stairs”.

“My face is my ticket” (this may have been said in jest but I sort of hope not)

“God this show gets worse every year, they aren’t even giving out the good coconut water now”.

The Chancers

“I’m a personal friend of (insert designers name)” used frequently to try and blag a way in.

“I’m a photographer, but I left my pass in the hotel” – Security Guard notes he has no camera bag etc, “did you leave the camera there as well or are you using a photographic memory”?

The Strange

Man walks up to three women being photographed, asks the photographer, “have you seen a DIY shop round here I need some pliers”.

 Two women talking, “50p to use the toilet on my way down to fashion scout, the mayor is literally taking the piss”. Her friend, “best thing about the BFC pass this season, free toilets”.

And one from me!!!

I’d never make it as a PR, I’d have killed someone by 11am on Friday morning

About Ross Pollard

Since starting writing on my 31st birthday in 2011 I have held a number of positions at magazines and websites as well as regularly producing articles for numerous publications alongside contributing to TV & radio shows as a freelance fashion journalist including Hoxton Radio & Fashion One TV. Alongside writing, I have worked in other industries helping to design & grow digital platforms, develop businesses and support operations practices. This experience has proved invaluable in building an understanding of how businesses work, and the landscape in which retail, B2B commerce and other commercial operations develop. Knowledge of commercial interests has helped shape my fashion industry insights beyond critiquing of garments

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